Tuesday, February 26, 2008

NO CREATIVITY- Fonts & Colors

Sangat fed-up. MENYAMPAH lagi.

When am I going to get out of this hell.

I am designated to promote 'Change'- to people who REFUSE to change.

To people who breed and live in this system and worse, accepting the whole system without even questioning it, what more to initiate CHANGE.

Refusal to change and signs of acceptance of the current system is apparent- clearly seen in simple
daily tasks and decisions.

For example, fonts and colors used in presentation slides.

HELP ME. This place is making me grow old faster than I should.

And since they (who initiated and preaching change), refuse to change- then WHAT THE HELL AM I HERE FOR?

Maybe I should resign from this HELLUVA.

If not, sampai mati pon, presentation slides company yg I kerja ni tak akan ubah style.

Akan sentiasa rupa sama, so might as well they all fotostat jer 20 tahun lepas punye presentation slides tuh and tak payah nak kecoh-kecoh.


Buang masa I jer.

Baik I pegi sauna lala lala and menari menyanyi dan berlakon.


However you feel is how you feel, so don't try to hide it. If other people are uncomfortable with your anger, your happiness, or whatever emotion you're exhibiting, that is just too bad for them. You're not a robot, so why should you act like one? Beware of people who think that hiding how you really feel is some sort of superior, more powerful way to be. Not acknowledging your feelings can become a very unhealthy habit -- one that can keep you from having honest connections with others.


I was opening my excite mail and came across this. So yeah, I have more than a justification for how I may have acted today. Or yesterday. Or the day before that. Or tomorrow.


I want to be healthy.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


Yesterday was my HAPPIEST day in HISTORY!

When you believe in something, it will come true; or at least there will be a path shown to you, which will lead you to your dreams and beliefs; dreams or beliefs that may have been broken and torn along the way, but is now rebuilt.

It has not happened yet, but I'm convinced that I'm on the right path.

Maybe things do happen for a reason, maybe that's why I'm here.

I'll just have to wait and see what happens next.

But yes, I'm very happy.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I have the right to choose.

I have my own reasons why.

No one can question THAT!

I have my own idols.

I have my own dreams.

It may not be the same as yours, or other people's.



I'm just waiting for these 8 f***ing years to be over.

And then I'll be ME, doing what I was doing.

Continuing my journey to achieve




Let me be FREE.

I'll be BACK!



In relation to my article on FINDING FAULTS OF THE YOUNG.


Yesterday was a FUNNY day. I encountered many funny people. Funny, and weird.

I saw some men standing and leaning against the railings of Suria KLCC. There were about 6 of them and 1 of them was practically flashing his butt.

You know how some men think it's sexy to wear low-waist/low cut baggy jeans so that they can show-off
their sexy boxers and we can take a sneak-peak at their bonbons and such?

I was with my Cina Looking Tudung Wearing Colleague and when I saw that, I said " Babe, I can see a butt-crack"
and she goes "That's NOT a butt-crack, that's like the WHOLE BLOODY BUTT!"

Yeah, the guy's pants was so low,showing off his 'naked bon-bons' and HELL NO, it WASN'T SEXY at ALL!

When we went past the butt-showing guy, I asked my Cina Looking Tudung Wearing friend to walk back and take a photo
of the amusingly ugly butt-showing guy's butt. So we walked together and tried to capture the most 'memorable' item.

But, we were 'caught' by the butt-head's friend, some Indonesian worker who was standing behind them.

My Cina Looking Tudung Wearing friend felt ashamed and 'malu' after we were caught (which I couldn't understand why
coz she's usually anything BUT shy)
so we had to 'pretend' that we were walking towards ISETAN, to take a longer route to our targeted destination (the food court on level 4).

Nope, she didn't manage to capture the picture. Daymn!

Later in the evening, we visited the food court again, this time with 'my twin'.

And as we were talking, I saw a guy with a very LONG goatie just like a goat's! And he even LOOKED like one!

I told my friends to take a look at the guy, and my twin and I both went 'mbbbbbeeeeeekkkk' making goat sounds

and we all laughed our intestines out.

GOLLY, what a funny day. It's amazing how many FUNNY people are actually living in MALAYSIA.

Mbeeeeeekk.........and unless you're as HOT as Brad Pitt....no BUTTs please........

Monday, February 18, 2008


Mencari kesalahan anak bukanlah satu perkara yang menghairankan, malah merupakan satu fenomena yang
sangat 'common' di kalangan warga Malaysia, lebih-lebih lagi orang Melayu.

Walaupun Bahasa Inggeris terror-merror dan belajar di 'oversea' bertahun-tahun, tetapi Melayu tetap Melayu.

Jarang orang Melayu puji orang lain, lebih-lebih lagi orang yang lebih muda dari mereka.

Kalau di ofis, yang senior ada jer nak cari salah si junior.

Kalau di rumah pula, ibubapa sering kali mencari kesalahan anak mereka.

Jarang sekali ibubapa memuji 'efforts' atau usaha anak mereka, melainkan 'meng-condemn' terlebih dahulu.

Begitu juga di ofis.

Tidakkah mereka yang hidup berabad lamanya di muka bumi ini tahu tentang 'tindak-balas semula jadi?'

The rule is simple : A negative approach or actions will lead to a negative reaction.

Tidakkah mereka tahu semua itu?

Bukanlah kita perlu memuji sampai seseorang itu naik kepala, tapi positive acknowledgement adalah satu approach
yang baik terhadap positive development.

Kutuk-mengutuk dan kondem-mengondem telah menjadi satu 'culture' yang tersebar luas di kalangan rakyat Malaysia.

Kritikan membina takpe, tapi kutuk-mengutuk and kritikan membina tu lain ok..SANGATLAH BESAR BEZANYA. So kenalah bezakan.

So people, please remember that:

A +ve action will lead to a +ve reaction = +ve development.

Sudah-sudah lah tu.


Today is Monday. I hate MONDAYS. Because it is 'the' day I have to start the week going to HELL. The HELL
that pays me money. The HELL that I'm FORCED to be in for the next 8 years or so.

My MONDAY BLUES usually will last up till Thursday. On Fridays, I'm fine because it's T.G.I.F (Thank GOD IT'S FRIDAY!) and the beginning of the weekend.

I actually consider my weekends as my working days, because I get to do the things I REALLY LIKE.

On Weekends, I get to:

1. Hangout with my mates
2. Do some Video-editting (I do montages for events and weddings)
3. attend my acting classes
4. go dancing
5. write stuff and update my blog.
6. sing
7. watch movies/tv
8. sleep
9. eat at nice places
10.write/play music

Luckily the place that I work 'part-time' for ( it is actually a full time job but since it's NOT by CHOICE, I consider it as my 'part-time' job) offers FREE singing, dancing and theatre classes during lunch hours

so yeah, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays my purpose of attending work is rather CLEAR.

Before classes and after classes are over, Monday Blues still exists.

Mondays are Mondays and the Monday Blues make me sick..

Today is another Monday, and it's NO EXCEPTION.

To make matters worse, I got my period today and I am experiencing PERIOD PAIN!
(no wonder la last nite I very the howny giler siap terbangun tido siot!)

heh..can't wait to go home and yeah..everytime I'm in the office, I wish I could kill'em dead and yeah
that's EXACTLY HOW I LOOK LIKE EVERYDAY until FRIDAY COMES and weekends take over!

Sunday, February 17, 2008


YEEHAAA! After my acting class yesterday, I realized that there were thousands of missed calls on
my phone!

And guess who called? It's that guy from the studio. The guy from the studio? Like who..??

Ok ok basically the guy from the studio owns the studio. I met him when I had to replace
my friend one fine Sunday. She teaches piano and had an emergency so she figured I would
be the best person to replace her on that day. (Ya I bet you are all wondering sejak biler plak budak ni
reti main piano?)

Actually (Ok ni bukan sesi I nak berlagak or riak ok..I just nak menjawab soalan you all),
I have learnt to play the piano since I was still a very young child- I was 3 years old.

My 1st Piano teacher was a teacher at this music school in Terengganu (I forgot the name). My dad had to work in Terengganu
when I was just a little girl (bunyik mcm starting lagu Que Sera Sera plak)
and apparently my MAMA said that I sibukkk sgt nak gi tadika..but unfortunately
in Terengganu at that time there were NO kindergartens that would accept a 3 year old.

The only school that wanted to accept me was that music school, which the name I forgot.
My MAMA signed me up for Piano and Ballet (Ballet??? WHAT THE...yang ni I explain later lah).

So yeah, I ended up LOVING my piano lessons and moulded me into being a VERY ARTISTICLY INCLINED

Ok masa kecik2 dulu I terover bijak (I was a smart student) but as I grew up in high school, I turned to be
ermm 'DISTRACTED'..maklumlah, dah terawal sangat bijak..lalu gatal pun adalah sedikit TERAWAL juga..

So back to the real story, the studio guy informed me that a student is interested in Piano Lessons on Sundays
and he offerred me the job!

I told him to get me more students (tamak haloba mula menjelma), so at least berbaloi la if I were to
go to the studio, right?


So if anyone is interested in Piano Lessons, do buzz me okay? I'm so SEXCITED! (yes, the S was put on purpose)

Saturday, February 16, 2008


HALLO there kawan-kawan! I just arrived from a LOVELY KLMJ session with ma gurls and Mama Mea just sent me home. AND AS USUAL, baru letak my YOGA MAT and 'BEG LARI DARI RUMAH' in my brother's room yang I dah conquer, guess WHAT I AM REQUESTED TO DO?
YA BETULLLLL! I have been requested to do some IT support job at home. I'm thinking,
does my face look like an IT SUPPORT GROUP?
Ya ALLAH sangatlah I benci jadi orang IT support nih...that's why I'm not working as one!
Tapi nak buat macam mana, my parents just bought another NEW Notebook for themselves and they are asking me to install some stuff..and because I am a PC lover (except for the hardware
and support parts), I just HAD to agree to install whatever they are asking for just because I wanted
to use it to update my BLOG. (gelak setan)
Best jugak pakai notebook baru nih....kehkehkeh and YES to my PARENTS, I AM BILL GATES!
Yang benar - Family IT Support Group


As I mentioned earlier, I felt awful this Valentine's Day as it was such a HUGE difference compared to last year's.

This year: NO dates, NO pressies, NO flowers and NO plans.

All the NO statements remained constant except for the final one when around 5 'o' clock in the evening, a male childhood friend msgd me on YM asking whether
I would like to join his 'Gang' to hangout on this very 'supposedly LOVING night'.


A few of my girlfriends were complaining on the gifts they received on Valentine's Day.
One complained that she only received some lousy chocolates.
Next day during breakfast, a colleague complained that her bouquet of roses were not even a dozen. Besides the bouquet, she received some chocolates and a porcelain gift. And yet, she's complaining.

At least they received SOMETHING. I, who received NOTHING told them that THEY should be VERY THANKFUL.

So yeah, the invitation to hang-out on Valentine's Day meant EVERYTHING to me. I learnt
what it felt to be dateless on the overrated Vday that EVERYONE IN LOVE is celebrating.
It put me in other people's shoes.

But at times like this, FRIENDS are the MOST IMPORTANT people in your lives. They are the BEST company to share your JOY and SORROW with.

So that night, I finally took my car out for a drive with 'THE GANG of S.A.D People'.
As I thought, I didn't get to take the FIAT Punto out coz it would freak my brother out though
he's in the UK at the moment, plus I won't be able to open the rooftop coz it's not in a very good condition. So I opened the roof-top of my Apache Mercedez instead.

All together there were 6 of us : 4 boys and 2 girls.

We took a night ride to PUTRAJAYA, Alip (my childhood mate) took the other girl and a guy friend in his car and I took 2 of the other boys in mine so that it would be a good balance.
The guy in Alip's car brought his Professional Camera with him so he was snapping photos
of us.

One of the guys treated us the famous 'SATE KAJANG' and some 'ROTI JOHN', (teringat I kat John Hafiz) and we SINGLETONS toasted to a very 'Happy V-Day for us LOSERS' . Although I didn't really think I was a LOSER, I
toasted anyway. (hohohoh...so vain of me not to admit but really, I didn't feel like a LOSER at all coz being dateless on V-day ain't EVERYTHING...)

The night was full of food, photo shoots and laughter. All of us had a very good time enjoying
the fresh breezy night air and appreciating each other's company. We stayed out late until 2am.
It felt REALLY good. Only then it occurred it to me, " Why do we need to go out on a date to
celebrate Valentine's Day?". "Do we REALLY need to be in a relationship with the opposite sex to be able share the joy of this day?" Only then I remembered that Valentine's Day is not ALL about celebrating, but more importantly it's about sharing and giving love. During these cloudy moments, friends are DEFINITELY considered as the people that WE love.

So lesson No 2 is: Celebrate V-DAY anytime you want with anyone that you love and those
that mean THE MOST to you and those who can SHARE almost everything with you, someone you would want to eat ice-cream or whatever.

I'm glad Hitz.FM came up with such things called the 'Single Awareness Day S.A.D.
So yeah. I can feel him too.
Take a deep breath.

I'm going to sleep right now.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Hari ini memang hari sentap SEDUNIA bagi ramai MAMA di luar sana. Mama I di rumah juga sentap dengan perangai I,
tapi dia tak tahu ke yang MAMA INI LAGI SENTAP?

Dah la Valentine's DAY, tapi I tak celebrate? giler loser??? ( Itu pada pukul 5 lebih petang tadi la befor plans changed)..

Mama I sentap sebab I balik-balik je from my course I terus bukak PC..tapi dia tak tahu yg I tgh sentap dan emo..

Ye la last year celebrate bukan main coz last year ada bf..and dah la bf nyer bday pulak 15 Feb..so we celebrated twice..

tahun ni? Habuk pun tadakkk! (pada ketika itu la).

Mama I nak mintak tolong something pasal computer. Dah la I benci IT query, tahu la I graduated in that field tapi..
kalau ye pun nak IT query, tunggu la I bernafas jap..dah la I tgh sentap lagi EMO..itu tadi la..

Sekarang I am ok..tapi MAMA I still sentap dgn I..

I tak tahu la MAMA I nak kasi I pakai Fiat Punto tu malam ni ke tak..malam ni I ada plans dengan 'Gang'..nak merempit..(what the..??)


I harap MAMA I tak sentap lepas ABAH I balik and ABAH said I can use the car.

Tak sabar, nak pakai baju apa haaa?


Today was the end of my course on Negotiation Skills. Course felt like school, the instructor treated us like School Kids.
I hate school, but anything is better than being in THE OFFICE coz OFFICE is EVEN MORE LIKE school.

I learnt A LOT. Loads of role-playing, so I enjoyed it. Anything to do with sharpening my Performing Arts skills, I LOVE.

The instuctor was Uniquely Interesting.. I tersenyum sumbing..sheepishly smile from hearing him pronounce the word 'Sayang'.
So Indian Like that...well he is Indian..can't blame him either.So pekat la his Indian..hehe so FUNNY..

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against anything Indian coz I have it in my blood too plus I love North Indian food, I go to
Neeta's Herbal for facial and hair treatments, I use Ayurvedic and Herbal Products such as my facial wash, I have cool Indian friends,
I do threading AT an INDIAN shop in Bangsar coz it's LIMA RINGGIT SAHAJA, and the literature that I am MOST fascinated with is
The Kama Sutra, plus I witnessed the first HINDRAF gathering in KLCC area. Doesn't THAT sound Indian enough to you?

He he he.

Negotiation is a very cool topic to learn. It teaches you how to negotiate on a deal.
Lesson Learnt: NO DEAL is BETTER than a BAD DEAL..whaccha!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. (tetibe jer)

1.He doesn't want to add me on Friendster apatah lagi Facebook.
2.He is going out with a 'friend' where he works, but he is single.
3.He sms me whenever he feels like it, usually 6am in the morning.
4.He flirts with me, whenever he feels like it, and being single, I'm stupid to allow that to happen.
5.He doesn't reply my sms, only when he wants to. Same as the calls.

and the list goes on.

An Andartu's life is full of questions..that are not being answered..well at least, NOT YET.

And life is like a famous HUGE CASINO that we go in to gamble. Our encounters are our opponents,our enemy, if we're lucky they will
be our friends but most of them are there to manipulate or take advantage of us.

The relationship with our encounters is the game, whole time we are dealing our cards.

Some are good at it than others.

I am currently playing my cards carefully with some people.

2 of them are most important to me.

But 1 is my MAJOR target. This card player has been playing cards with me since year 2001.

I am still figuring out his game.

The game has been going on for too long.

I am currently waiting for the right moment to tell him,


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

My friend, Ms. Tunku Angelina Juling- The Cross-Eyed

Hi. While I was updating and putting my ideas up in this blog, I was on ym with a very good
friend of mine, and it's Past midnight but she's still at the office. CRAZY BITCH!

She told me that the long working hours tonight has made jer Juling or in English, cross-eyed.

Well actually, all this while she has always been Juling,hence her middle name, only that her parents hid the photo album coz takut terkantoi..of course she is too juling to even realize that
she is cross-eyed..err juling.

Below is her photo when she was a baby...
Of course, we all kesian kat dia..so we didn't even tell her when her Mama showed us this picture..ain't she sooo cutee...?

She grew up as a happy young woman..and this was how she looked like after college..time ni dia ingat dia bleh menang Miss Universe...I support jer from behind..

and of course dia ada boyfriend...bf dia pon tak tau yang dia sendiri pun juling..and of course dia tak tau yang gf dia juling.......
May they Have a Juling Marriage and Julingly live happily ever after...


Hi tadi just now I mentioned that I like Chinese Looking Men, but of course with a sharp nose ya..but THAT doesn't mean yang jenis tu jer is my type..

The picture above is also My Type..yeah baby yeah! So yes..I like a variety of choices..barula nyam nyam..

Asalkan jangan mcm yang below ni..oh nooo nooo! Yang ni I pengsan..OK...!

Cinta Hingga Ke Akhir Hayat : Love, till death do us Part

Hi there again PEEPS! Okay..here's one of my wishes...to live together with someone I love forever
hingga ke akhir hayat.
Since I suka Chinese Looking men agaknya mcm ni la muka me and my love of my life bila tua nanti.
Actually, I love this guy..dulu we all couple..and then because of our stupidity, we both broke up..
and life happened to both of us. I couple ngan org lain..tunang la hape..and dia pon couple ngan all the 'mangkuks' after me..tapi skarang I single balik..and after all my hardships and hell I've been through..I can't stop denying that actually I still love dia. I pon dapat tahu dia skarang tgh single..tapi takkan I nak tunggu bile muka I jadi mcm ni baru dia nak bawak I masuk 'Tiffany & Co.' or Cartier nak beli cincin..? So should I still wait...?

TUA, BERGAYA, BERJIWA MUDA : Old but vogue and young @heart

Hai kawan2..meh sini Andartu Timbuktu nak cakap sikit..Tua, so what? Tak kawin2 lagi, So what? To me, yang penting is we are very the bergaya, jaga kecantikan, look PHAT, and bukan FAT, kawin tak kawin tu BELAKANG CERITA!

Wots with the typical Malay minds? by this age we have to get married la itu la ini la...bukan apa..memang la Bagus binakan sebuah Masjid..tapi if we build only to be destroyed within a year because suami curang and very the cheating one..what for?

Bukan nak discourage marriage..tapi please la Makcik Pakcik Rakan Taulan please leave us alone and selagi hangpa TAK DAPAT kad wangi2 bernama kad kawin tuh..bleh tak jgn tanya soalan
yang very the sakitkan Hati itu coz we are tired of answering "Prince William will be coming in a moon year's time..."